Same-sex marriage solution: Just say no


This nation, from sea to shining sea, has millions of people who are going homeless and hungry. Yet right-wing Republican after Republican can’t find a higher priority (aside, of course, from bashing President Obama) than getting bent out of shape over same-sex marriages.

If somebody walked up to one of those self-righteous, supposed bastions of the blessed institution and said, “You should not on moral grounds be allowed to marry that person you’re in love with — in fact, I’m gonna do my best to make it against the law,” there’d be a fight. A knock-down drag-out bare-knuckled brawl. On the spot.

Yet they feel perfectly entitled to tell somebody else who they can fall in love with and legally, publicly spend the rest of their lives with. Talk about having some hell of a nerve.

These self-anointed guardians of what’s sacred don’t understand homosexuality or lesbianism and, scared mindless, condemn both as being against the nature of man and the law of God. Hysterically resorting to the Bible, the first thing they’re going to preach at you with manic fervor is, “The Good Book says Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve.”  When it comes to anything else, though, the Bible may as well be some dusty old joke book full of stale, outdated punch-lines.

Like “Thou shalt not kill.” Every American president within memory put his hand on the Bible to get sworn in, then turned right around and sent soldiers overseas to shoot everybody they came across.

Or “Thou shalt not commit adultery.” You kidding? The divorce rate in this country on the grounds of infidelity among God-fearing Christians is incredible. In fact, if you stop and look that rate up, by the time you’re done it will have already increased, leaving the information you got out of date.

”Thou shalt not lie.” Yeah, right.

Gay folk are supposed to be so lowdown and depraved, right? When did you ever hear of a serial killer or mass murderer being found to be gay? Okay, besides J. Edgar Hoover and his refusal to stop all those slaughters of Black folk in the ’60s.

Charles Manson, Ted Bundy, that maniac Timothy McVeigh who bombed all those poor souls into the next life in Oklahoma City. All of ’em straight as a ruler. You never hear of gay people jumping on anybody and beating them, but hate crimes by heterosexuals have been putting gays and lesbians in the hospital and the morgue for ages. Just for being gays and lesbians. Yet something is inherently wrong with non-heterosexuality.

It took all the way up until just this year for the U.S. armed services’ “Don’t ask, don’t tell” policy to get repealed. Think about that. Any man or woman who was willing to put his or her life on the line to defend the nation should have always been free to be themselves. Completely.

In pushing for the right to live in wedded bliss (or make just as much a mess out of their lives as married straight folk), people who want to enter same-sex marriages aren’t hurting a soul. They are not running around trying to ram their lifestyle down anyone’s throat, trying to outlaw male-female unions.

Outraged citizens, especially these stumping politicians, who just can’t stand having to mind their own business, should give their blood pressure a break. To anyone who really has a big problem with gay marriage, here’s a simple solution: The next time somebody gay proposes to you, just say “No.” Then go sit down somewhere and shut up.


Dwight Hobbes welcomes reader responses to P.O. Box 50357, Mpls., 55403. 




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