By Dwight Hobbes
”The greatest love of all is unrequited love,” goes the historic quote. Whoever made that memorable statement went down in the books appreciated as a noble soul — noble and dumb as a bag of rocks.
You think there’s anything noble about unrequited love? Try it sometime, admiring someone who strikes you as exceptionally special, wanting to try a romantic relationship with her only to realize she couldn’t give a dead rat’s hindquarters. There isn’t a damned thing noble about how that feels.
The best thing — the only sensible thing — to do is get over it. Do not keep pressing the case. You’re only torturing yourself, especially when you keep trying to warm her up with gestures and small talk only to have her remain politely cool.
You take that as an opportunity to prove that persistence pays and all you’re really doing is taking the chance to kick yourself in the ass, which is exactly what you’ll do on the day you bump into her and she’s grinning in some other guy’s face the way you wish she was grinning in yours.
P.S. This isn’t the worst case scenario. That’s reserved for when she doesn’t want you but strings you along because she does enjoy the attention, then hands you a line of horse manure about wanting to just be friends. You don’t treat someone like that you truly want to be your friend. You do that to someone you consider nothing but a way to boost your own ego.
The more attracted you are to her, the sooner you’re best off forcing yourself to find someplace else to put your attention, anywhere but on her. Now, of course, if it’s a situation where you have to see her on regular basis — like the job — it ain’t gonna be easy.
That doesn’t mean it doesn’t have to be done. Quit finding little excuses to chat with her. Don’t do things to ”incidentally” draw her attention. You’re grown. Move on. It’s not going to feel good, but, you’re old enough to deal with hurt feelings.
P.S. For the teaser who was jerking you around, it’s okay to get a little payback. Ignore her. There’s one thing a woman who gets off on having her ego fed can’t stand and that’s when you wake up, smell the Folgers and treat her like she no longer even exists. It’s the egotist’s kryptonite.
There’s no stating it strongly enough: get on with life, before you turn into a moon-eyed sap who doesn’t even realize how badly he’s embarrassing himself. Or worse, some kind of stalker. If it was meant to work out, it wouldn’t take so much work.
Trust me, you can’t make somebody want you and as soon as you realize they don’t, do yourself, a favor and quit dialing a number that has hung up on you.
Dwight Hobbes welcomes reader responses to P.O. Box 50357, Mpls., 55403.
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