I’m gon’ be disappointed in any Black folks who watch that Royal Wedding. Oh, don’t get me wrong, I’m all for young love. I feel like if young folks are crazy enough to toss away their freedom and happiness on something as ridiculous as getting married, then more power to them. How does that ole saying go? They have just as much right as the rest of us ole married folks to be miserable.
The world is on fire and upside down about Prince William’s marriage to Kate Middleton. You can’t turn it on any local or national news station for more than five minutes before one of ’em is talking about what dress Kate is wearing and who her attendants are going to be. I even caught wind that Snoop Dogg wanted to throw Prince William a bachelor party.
But the ”big deal” was waiting to find out who the more than 1,900 invitees to the ceremony would be. Everyone from political analysts to entertainment reporters speculated about who would be in and who would be out.
Well, it all came to a head when invites went out in the mail this week and began to reveal the guest list. Understandably, the couple’s friends and family members would be attending.
They didn’t invite Sarah Ferguson, and that’s understandable. Nobody wants their crazy drunk aunt showing up at their wedding to muck things up. You know she gon’ cut up, act a fool and show out. It’s best to just go by her house after it’s all over and let her see the pictures and take a look at the wedding video.
But what’s ticking me off is the fact that the Fresh Prince of Buckingham Palace and his bride-to-be Ms. Katie didn’t invite President Barack Obama and our First Lady Michelle.
At first, I thought perhaps this was an oversight, like the invite might have gotten lost in the mail. Anybody who has sent anything through the U.S. Post Office knows that fun stuff like wedding invites and Christmas cards take twice as long to get to you as, say, bills or bank overdraft statements.
But no, honey, they thought it wouldn’t be prudent to invite the Leader of the Free World to their wedding. The most powerful man in the world, America’s Commander in Chief, didn’t get an invite.
Well, surely it must be a private, intimate ceremony with no officials or dignitaries or heads of state on the guest list. Not! Willie didn’t invite Obama and Michelle, but he asked the King of Bahrain to go.
Wait, ain’t his country all jacked up with war and bloodshed going on? Oh yeah, I can see why he’s on the guest list and not President Obama.
So I thought to myself, ”Are any Black folks gonna be at this wedding?” Surely there were some people of color who crossed paths with Prince William at some point in his life. I mean, with his royal highness being so ”ordinary,” there must be a few colored folks at the wedding who won’t be cooking and cleaning.
But alas, after going over the unauthorized invitation list for hours, checking Facebook Pages and Google images, the only Black person who will be in attendance is Kanye West. Yeah, that’s right, I said it — Black folks gotta be singing and dancing, or in this case rapping, to be one of the 1,900 people to attend this once-in-a-lifetime ceremony.
(Lord knows that other lil’ goofy redheaded Prince ain’t gon’ find a wife no time soon. The boy looks too much like his daddy.)
So Kanye West, the rapper who dropped out of college, is in, but Barack Obama, the Harvard-educated President of the United States, is out. And my guess is that Kanye will bring his girlfriend, former exotic dancer Amber Rose, as his guest to the ceremony.
That’s gonna be one classy affair. I can see her in those clear plastic high-heeled stripper shoes, tight leather black dress covering up much of nothing, and that blood-red lipstick she loves to wear. I wonder if they’ll have a smoking section for her outside the church, ’cause she doesn’t go more than a few minutes without puffing on her Newports.
You know, I don’t know why I’m trippin’ ’bout all this. I can see why Will and Kate would rather have Kanye and his stripper girlfriend at their wedding than the U.S. president and his wife at their wedding. After all, it’s gon’ be such a classy affair.
Sheletta Brundidge was a regular contributor to the MSR until she relocated to Cincinnati, Ohio. Twin Cities residents can still get a daily dose of Sheletta’s observational humor by visiting her website at http://sheletta.com.