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When I came to prison, I never thought I would experience the type of loss and pain of losing a loved one while incarcerated—someone like a father, mother, or wife. There’s nothing like the pain that hits us.
Then, all the things come after—mainly the grieving process. Being able to say goodbye and lay your loved ones to rest is a significant part of the healing process. Inmates are being denied this process.
Why? Does being incarcerated make us less than human?
Since being in prison, I’ve seen people lose loved ones many times and seen the pain in many inmates. Previously, that pain was somewhat milder because of the ability to go to the funerals of our loved ones. But that no longer happens.
In 2015, my father passed, and the rules had changed for funerals, and I wasn’t able to properly say goodbye. The DOC said it could be recorded, and I’d be able to view the funeral at the prison. Unfortunately, DOC made excuses, and I was never able to view the funeral. This affected me more than anyone knows. I still feel the pain from not saying my goodbyes.
In 2023, my mother passed away, and again, there was no option for me to bury my mother. Even the phone call about my mother’s death was censored by the case manager. I was told what I could and couldn’t talk about. And the call was on speakerphone.
Now, on 4-11-24, my wife passed away. And again, I’m not able to bury my wife, say my goodbyes and emotionally heal properly.
When my father died, I was in closed custody in Stillwater prison. But now I’ve worked my way to a medium custody prison and should have more options to deal with this type of situation. Unfortunately, being good and being able to come to a medium custody prison means you have more rules and restrictions instead of loosening the rules and giving more privileges for a better transition into the community.
No wonder inmates are culture-shocked and have a hard time readjusting to society.
The [Corrections] commissioner has been saying that the prisons will soon be fully staffed. If this is true, or if it is not, something must change in the DOC. Our mental health is being affected by the loss of our loved ones, and secondly, by not being allowed to grieve and lay our people to rest properly.
Alfredo Rosillo #191234 is an inmate at Faribault Prison. He welcomes reader responses through letters at jpay.com.
This commentary was made possible through a partnership with the Twin Cities Incarcerated Workers Organizing Committee, a union working to transform the justice system in MN.
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