The first day of preschool or kindergarten is a milestone for both children and parents, a moment filled with excitement, nervous energy, and lots of questions. While families pack backpacks and label water bottles to ensure their children return home with their belongings, early childhood educators quietly wish to share a few heart-to-heart truths with every parent.
These truths aren’t academic checklists or performance goals; they are the human, foundational understandings that help facilitate a smooth transition and a successful start to the school year. Tristan Hitchens-Brookins, a law and policy intern with the Planting People Growing Justice Leadership Institute, shares what many educators wish every parent knew before that first day.
Independence matters
While many parents worry about whether their child can recite the alphabet or count to 10, teachers are also concerned about whether the child can put on their own coat, open their lunchbox, or ask for help when needed. These basic self-help skills build confidence, reduce frustration, and ease the burden on teachers during a stressful period.
One teacher put it this way: “We can teach letters and numbers. What’s harder to teach is self-regulation and resilience when things don’t go their way.” Before school starts, give your child chances to do things independently, even if it takes a little longer. It helps more than you know.
Separation anxiety is normal
Both children and parents often feel anxious about a new separation, but how adults handle those emotions matters most. Lingering, sneaking away, or showing visible distress can send mixed signals.
A calm, confident goodbye routine, even if your heart is breaking, helps children feel safe. Trust that teachers are trained to comfort children through this transition and will call if your child needs you. Children generally settle in quickly once parents leave.
Your child is unique
Every child develops on their own timeline. Comparing your child to classmates or siblings can create unnecessary pressure. Teachers have the skills to meet children where they are and help them grow from that point.
Instead of worrying whether your child is “behind” or “ahead,” focus on progress. Celebrate small wins like putting toys away without being asked, showing kindness to a friend, or following directions during story time.
The best learning happens through play
Play is not a break from learning, it is learning in early childhood. When your child builds with blocks, negotiates roles in dramatic play, or paints freely, they are developing problem-solving skills, fine motor coordination, language, and emotional awareness.
Educators wish more families understood that early academic pressure may not achieve the intended goals. Let children enjoy exploring the world around them; their brains undergo critical development while they play.
Partnership is powerful
Finally, teachers want you to know that you are not alone in this journey. Educators are not just instructors, they are partners in your child’s development. Open communication, mutual respect, and shared goals create a supportive environment where children thrive.
If something is happening at home, a big change, a new sibling, a sleep struggle, share it with your child’s teacher. The more they know, the better they can support your child in the classroom.
A call to action
A “First Educator” refers to the primary role parents and caregivers play in a child’s early development and education. They instill essential life skills, morals, and behaviors.
As a First Educator, here are practical tips to help prepare your child for a successful school year:
- Give your child confidence-boosting tasks to complete before school starts.
- Create situations where you and your child are separated for longer periods.
- Reach out to your child’s school to send the teacher an introductory email.
Starting school is a big step, but it doesn’t have to be stressful. With a little preparation, open communication, and plenty of grace, families and educators can work together to create a warm, welcoming start for every child.
After all, the start of the school year isn’t just about learning the ABCs. It’s about constructing bridges.
Dr. Artika Tyner is committed to creating a world of inclusive leaders who will meet the pressing needs of today and work towards a better future where racial justice and economic justice reign supreme. As a motivational speaker, author and educator, Dr. Tyner helps people of all ages connect with their gifts and develop tangible tools for bringing forth sustainable, durable change in the family, workplace, community or school. By building and leveraging the tools in The Inclusive Leader she has inspired thousands of people to lead with their own gifts and plant a seed of social change.