An Attack on Her Womanhood Is an Attack on Ours: Dr. Sharon M. Holder on Michelle Obama, Misogynoir and the Dignity Black Women Deserve
In this op-ed, behavioral health researcher Dr. Sharon M. Holder responds to the recent smear against former First Lady Michelle Obama, arguing that attacks on her womanhood are not isolated incidents but part of a long-standing pattern of stigma and misogynoir that wounds Black women everywhere and demands that America confront the systems that make such grace necessary.
Former First Lady Michelle Obama does not need defending. Her brilliance, her humanity, and her legacy stand firmly on their own. But the attacks against her, especially the most recent demeaning smear from UFC fighter Josh Hokit, demand that we speak up because they are not isolated incidents. They are part of a long-standing pattern of stigma and misogynoir that Black women have been forced to navigate for generations.
Let’s be clear: when Former First Lady Michelle Obama is targeted, the harm does not land on her alone. It is a wound felt by Black women everywhere, because she embodies so much of what we are told we cannot be: brilliant, visible, self-possessed, and unapologetically ourselves. An attack on her womanhood is an attack on ours, echoing the lifelong struggle to navigate a world where Black women are subjected to scrutiny, stigma and misogynoir. These assaults reverberate through our lives, reinforcing the constant questioning, the relentless demands and the added burdens we are expected to carry simply for daring to exist in spaces that were never designed for us.
I have never met Former First Lady Michelle Obama. But as a Black woman and a behavioral health researcher who studies stigma, I recognize exactly what is happening here. What makes it even more troubling is that these attacks persist regardless of her extraordinary accomplishments: a lawyer, a leader in higher education and healthcare, a bestselling author, and the 44th first lady of the United States. The first African American woman to hold that role. Racism, discrimination and stigma are not just social slights; they are powerful mechanisms that mark certain groups as “less than,” “other,” or “unworthy.” They shape how people are treated, how institutions respond, and how individuals internalize the messages they receive. For Black women, stigma is often weaponized through the dual forces of racism and misogyny, creating a uniquely corrosive form of marginalization.
In academia, I have seen, and experienced, how stigma operates in subtle and overt ways. The constant questioning, the relentless demands and the added burdens that so often fall on Black women, as if the goal were to stretch us thin enough to confirm some imagined incompetence.
The scrutiny of tone.
The policing of appearance.
The expectation to be endlessly resilient in the face of disrespect.
These are not abstract concepts to me; they are part of the daily landscape Black women navigate in professional spaces. So when I hear someone publicly question the former first lady’s womanhood, I hear the echo of every moment Black women have been told we are “too much,” “too aggressive,” “not enough,” “too strong,” or “not feminine enough.”
This is why the smear against Former First Lady Michelle Obama is not just a political cheap shot. It is a textbook example of how stigma functions by reducing a person to a stereotype, by stripping away complexity, by attempting to make them small. Still, when the target is a Black woman, that stigma is amplified by centuries of narratives designed to undermine our dignity.
Former First Lady Michelle Obama famously told us, “When they go low, we go high.” It is a beautiful philosophy that is aspirational, dignified and rooted in a deep moral clarity that she herself embodied throughout her tenure as the nation’s first African American first lady. Her grace, intellect and unwavering commitment to service gave that phrase its power. But it is also a heavy burden that Black women know all too well. We are expected to rise above, to maintain composure, to embody grace in the face of cruelty. Yet the world rarely asks why we are forced to “go high” so often, or why others feel so free to go low at our expense.
This moment demands more than admiration for Michelle Obama’s grace. It demands that we confront the systems that make such grace necessary. It demands that we challenge the normalization of cruelty toward Black women. It demands that we insist loudly and unapologetically that the dignity of Black women is not optional, negotiable, or subject to public debate.
If we want a healthier public discourse, it begins with rejecting the stigmatization of Black women in all its forms. It begins with calling out these attacks for what they are, and it begins with building a culture where Black women are not expected to “go high” simply to survive.
America can do better. And Black women deserve better.
Dr. Sharon M. Holder is a behavioral health researcher with more than 25 years of experience in academia and healthcare. Her work centers on mental health stigma and health disparities, with a strong commitment to improving access to quality behavioral healthcare for vulnerable and marginalized communities. She lives in South Carolina and holds a Ph.D./MPhil in gerontology from the University of Southampton, UK; a Master of Science in gerontology from King’s College London; and a Master of Social Work from the University of Houston.