Breaking the chains, part one: When the storm finally breaks 

When I walk into a jail, a school, or a community space, I hear different stories, but I often recognize the same pain.

The names are different. The ages are different. The circumstances are different. Yet underneath many of those stories is something familiar: someone who was hurt long before they understood what healing meant. Someone who learned how to survive before they learned how to trust. Someone who was taught how to fight through life but was never taught how to heal from it.

I know because I have seen trauma from several sides.

I have spent more than a decade working in corrections, where I have witnessed how trauma, addiction, unhealthy relationships, incarceration, loss, and poor choices can become interconnected. I am also a survivor who has had to walk my own healing journey. Today, I am the founder of Sexual Abuse Warriors (SAW), a survivor-led, trauma-informed nonprofit dedicated to equipping survivors and empowering communities.

Through all of those experiences, I have learned something important: Trauma doesn’t discriminate, and trauma doesn’t simply disappear because time passes.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 63.9% of U.S. adults surveyed reported experiencing at least one adverse childhood experience, commonly called an ACE, before age 18. ACEs can include abuse, neglect, witnessing violence, or growing up in a household affected by substance use, mental health challenges, incarceration, or instability.

Those experiences can follow us much further than childhood.

I often describe trauma as a storm cloud that follows you. It doesn’t appear overnight. It builds slowly over time, shaped by everything you’ve been through: pain, loss, addiction, broken relationships, abuse, violence, incarceration, and even the things you were never taught, such as boundaries, emotional regulation, healthy communication, or the power of choice.

At first, it may just feel like a cloud hanging overhead. But inside that cloud are layers.

One layer might be abuse. Another might be addiction. Another could be incarceration, losing your children, divorce, a custody battle, grief, rejection, or emotional struggles that were never addressed. Each experience adds another layer to the cloud.

Without healthy boundaries, you may find yourself being pulled into things that create even more pain: unhealthy relationships, street life, violence, substance use, people-pleasing, isolation, or other harmful coping mechanisms, because no one ever showed you how to protect your space, your mind, your body, or your energy.

Over time, that cloud grows heavier. Eventually, it doesn’t just sit there anymore.

It breaks.

It comes down like a storm, sometimes like a tornado, affecting your relationships, parenting, career, health, decision-making, and the people around you.

That’s one of the hardest truths about trauma: it doesn’t always stay inside the person who experienced it.

Pain can spill over. A hurting child can become a hurting adult. A hurting adult can become a struggling parent, partner, employee, friend, or community member. Patterns can repeat through families for generations, sometimes without anyone recognizing where they began.

But here’s the part we don’t talk about enough: The cycle can also stop.

The beautiful thing about storms is that they pass, not because time magically heals everything, but because people can learn new skills. We can build healthier relationships, seek counseling, learn boundaries, understand our emotions, ask for help, take accountability, and begin making different choices.

Breaking free isn’t one giant moment. It’s a decision you make every day. Every boundary you set. Every time you pause before reacting. Every time you ask for help. Every time you choose differently.

Healing isn’t about pretending the storm never happened. It’s learning that the storm no longer gets to control where you’re going.

That belief is why Sexual Abuse Warriors exists.

SAW was created because survivors deserve more than simply surviving. We provide trauma-informed education, support groups, youth programming, community presentations, correctional programming, resources, and practical tools designed to help people understand trauma and develop the skills necessary to move from surviving toward thriving.

Our work is grounded in REACH: Resilience, Empowerment, Acceptance, Community, and Hope. We don’t only want to talk about what happened to people. We want to help people understand what they can do next.

Maybe your storm looks like anxiety, anger, addiction, unhealthy relationships, perfectionism, isolation, or constantly taking care of everyone except yourself. Maybe you’ve become so good at surviving that you don’t even realize you’re still living in survival mode.

Or maybe you’re reading this as a parent, educator, correctional professional, employer, faith leader, or community member wondering how you can better support someone else.

There is a place for you in this conversation.

If you need support, want to learn more, or want to support others through volunteering, partnerships, programming, or donations, connect with Sexual Abuse Warriors at sexualabusewarriors.org.

Over my next three columns, we’re going to continue breaking these chains together. We’ll talk about boundaries, the power of choice, and what it truly means to become a cycle breaker.

Until then, remember: Your past may explain parts of you, but it does not have to define your future.

You are not the storm. You are the person learning how to walk through it.

When we equip survivors and empower communities, we don’t just change one life. We change what gets passed on to the next generation.

 Analissa Ruzynski is the founder of Sexual Abuse Warriors (SAW). For more information on, visit https://sexualabusewarriors.org/home.